Be Sure To Get My Good Side

I do not enjoy my picture being taken.  This wouldn’t be that much of a problem if it weren’t for the fact that my wife takes pictures like they are going out of style.

I think my biggest problem with getting my picture taken lies in the fact that since I’m a perfectionist and human, I am not 100% satisfied with the way I look:  my jaw-line is a little crooked when I smile, I’m a tad overweight, when outdoors I’m usually sweaty (because of the previously mentioned reason).

So, most pictures that are taken don’t live up to my standards and the ones that do I use for many public things like avatars.  They mostly look like this:

This is the one you've seen

The other ones, not taken of my good side, usually come out like this:

(Joey not actually pictured)

Okay, so I may have fibbed a little bit and that last picture might not actually be of me, but you get the idea.

Perception Is Reality, Even When It’s Wrong

Over the weekend, my wife and I rented a cabin and secluded ourselves from the world for 4 days.  It was amazing.  Except for one little thing.

We had booked our cabin in advance from pictures we saw online.  It was the only way to do it without driving over there and looking for ourselves.  (I won’t mention the rental place, but it rhymes with Mountain Rentals of Gatlinburg and is spelled the same way.)

The place looked great:  hot tub, private deck, jacuzzi tub, the whole nine yards.  Actually, the pictures looked a little bit like this:

Oh, a private stream, nice.

You can’t tell too much from the picture shown, but the others showed a newly painted and floored cabin, offset from the population of Eastern Tennessee.  The reality was more like this:

(Falling Waters Chalet not actually shown)

Okay, another little fib, but the reality was somewhere in between.

Now, I’m all for a little marketing fluffery.  I watch Mad Men and try to think like Don Draper just like the rest of you, but when I get to the cabin and the pictured newly-buffed floor looks to be 5 years old and untreated and the paint is falling off the outside walls and there is mold growing on the walls (which has been painted over) and there are spiders in every corner, the fourth wall breaks.

Provide What You Preach

Everyone knows the old saying “Practice what you preach,” and that’s all well and good, but in our new age of “transparency” and “honesty” fostered by Internet connectivity, you have to go a little bit further for your customers.  You actually have to provide what you say you provide.

What!?  I know, it’s a shocking concept.  How can we be expected to actually hold true to the things we say to potential customers that we know aren’t true?

Here’s my Joey Strawn, Sure-Fire, Guaranteed Best Marketing Honesty Program (I usually charge 4 easy payments of $19.95 for this, but you get it for free for reading my blog, what a great deal!):

1. Know What You Sell: It would baffle you to know the number of people that cannot answer me when I ask them, “What do you do?”  You would think that anyone owning a business or fostering their own personal brand would know in a heartbeat what it is they do, but you would be wrong.  Sit down and really think about what you do and what you offer your clients.  It’s always a good exercise to come up with a 15-second elevator pitch if you don’t already have one.

2. Know What You’re Selling: This may sound similar to #1, but it’s not.  Once you are in business, know what it is that is going out your doors.  If the cabin rental place had taken the time to inspect the cabin we stayed in and compared it to the pictures, it would not have been hard to find the inconsistencies that we found.  Look around and take a good inventory of what it is your customers are actually receiving.

3. Don’t F&^%ing Lie To Me: We all like things that are the “Best” or “#1″ or “World’s Largest.”  Even more, we like to be those things, but if it’s not true, don’t say it.  On our way to Gatlinburg I saw 5 billboards for 5 different places claiming to be the “World’s Largest Adult Superstore.”  Now, I’m no geography major……but if it was my desire to enter the world’s largest smut store, I would be very disappointed to leave my chosen destination, only to find a larger one down the street.  Tell the truth.

If A Cabin’s Shit In The Woods

That’s it.  Pretty simple, right?

What do you think?  How has the idea of “honesty” changed in the digital age?  Should companies be more wary of the fluffery they use or am I just being a sensitive prick who needs to realize that all marketers are liars?

Thoughts?

p.s. In the interest of me being more open and following my own advice, I have posted a rare shot of me having fun in Gatlinburg below.  This was candidly shot with no fore-knowledge from me.  I swear.  I wouldn’t lie to you would I?  I’m only a marketer.

Seriously, I'm not posing for this...

Tags: anniversary, cabins, Gatlinburg, marketing, pictures, social media